Morning All! Sorry for not responding sooner. I had a really heavy phone session with IC yesterday and spent the evening processing stuff.
Surfer - I know i should be grateful for the fact that H still wants to kiss and hug me but I guess that makes it all the more difficult. I have got the 5LL book and I started reading if but if made me sad because I wish I had known about this before and now it feels like it's too late... Are you saying that this might help me with my interactions with him now or just if we reconcile?
Andrew - Thanks for dragging me back to Realsville I really needed that! Your right he is doing all these things because he lives in a fantasy world in which he can turn my life upside down but think that everything will be all tweety birds and fluffy bunnies!
Job - I know, I do have to stop over analysing things! I guess he has always been like this (touchy feely) even after BD so it's nothing new. However he stopped hugging me (only title kisses) a few weeks after BD. I'm also having difficulty with my IC at the moment. Even though she is really lovely and helps me to recognise my feelings and emotions I think she is trying to steer me towards having it out with H so I can get closure. How to I navigate this with her?
Tadpole - thanks so much for visiting my thread. I guess his actions have given me hope even though I did try to keep my expectations low it just blindsided me a bit. It's just beggars belief as to what goes on in their heads. Surely they must realise that their actions are hurting and confusing us?
Thank you all for the 2x4s. Although it was hard I am pleased that I met with H. I think it helped to show that my going dark was not me punishing him so hopefully he won't be worried about contacting me in the future.
Also I am going to look on the positive side and list some signposts from the day to keep my spirits up:
- H accepted an invite for coffee after 7 weeks of NC - H gave me a hello kiss (on the lips) - H offered to buy the drinks - H was very relaxed thoughout - H walked me to my car in the pouring rain (he had to walk past his own car) - H gave me a kiss (on the lips) and a hug and then another kiss (on the lips) and hug before I got into my car
Right, back to being dark again! Happy weekend everyone!!
Me - 47 H - 45 D-16 M - 6 years Separated - May 16
Don't leave me behind can't you see me I'm shining... (Years & Years - 'Shine')
