To confront or not confront cheating W?

[PsySara]

You're really struggling with GAL. The key to lovingly detaching is to do things for yourself that will build your confidence, your happiness and your inner peace. Before you met your wife what were things you enjoyed doing? Re-visit the Vinny and get to know him again. That is the man your wife fell in love with, more importantly that is who you truly were before the challenges of building a marriage and juggling the responsibilities of a family.

You need respite from being the primary parent, so arrange child care one evening a week and then get out. Let your wife know you are re-investing in yourself and the child care is set up if she stays out late. Be mysterious, if she ask a lot of questions just give her basic answers, don't elaborate. Your goal is not to get her notice, it is to get yourself centered and give your brain in some respite from the trauma and pain of finding out your wife is wayward. Then purposely do things with just you and the kids, enjoy THEM. But don't make this your only focus or you will get caretaker fatigue, I am speaking from pure experience here. Your parents deserve the best, right? Therefore they deserve to have their primary parent (you) be at his most mental and physical fitness.