A review of finding out about A and telling W

[Steady9]

Ok--thank you for the clarification sandi.

It was helpful to think I need to be mindful on how I approach my W on the discussion so that it does not lead to resentment, etc.

I think my W's eyes were opened by me sharing that I would let her go and later saying that when a person has an A it could easily lead to a divorce.... I think when she internalized that a divorce was a real out come of the A, it opened her eyes and then she thought about her "destructive behavior" (her words).

She said there was no plan.... for the A... and she just thought about the moment versus the future... and just hoped I never would find out...

She is thinking about the hurt it caused everyday she says and I would say her actions reflect it. (we are not talking about it every day... maybe every third day...)

I am working on understanding human behavior, being empathetic, not being arrogant because I have faults too.... In general today, I just have to get passed the "sex act" I think... The lying is bad.... but by having sex, you cross the finish line so toe speak, no chance to stop... But what I have learned from this forum.... is at least she came back home and is working on rebuilding process. So I remind myself that, at least she is here and we can talk and move forward. It would have been worse if she left forever.