Still hanging on ... just

[Oluwa]

Detachment is the hardest part I've found. It is a state of mind, not a set of physical actions or happenings. It takes a lot of time and effort and consistent actions on your part.

Yes this is so true. Intellectually I know what I need to do, but emotionally I am all over the place.

So start with the actions first, because you can control those. Pull back physically: don't follow her around, don't ask for cuddles, don't initiate physical interactions, quit looking at her trying to deduce her moods by what her face or body language looks like, do your own things out of the home without inviting her; and pull back verbally: no asking about her day, no asking about her plans, no chit-chat, above all else, no R talk.

Spot on again!! She has even said this before, that I am always looking at her to see what her mood is like and its too much!! I have stopped that for a while now and she hasn't complained. It amazes me how emotionally attached I have been to her over the years. I can only detach and see where that takes us. She said a while back, that "I can't carry you anymore!". It's like how many more signals do you need MAN to detach and GAL......

Thanks all for the support, it means so much.