Right now, you need reassurance and demonstrated connection; she needs space. Only one of you (you) can give the other what they need right now, and that [censored], but it is the reality. It will only be when she feels the space created by you pulling back that she'll move back toward you, and, frankly, she may never even do that, which is why everyone stresses to you that the focus must be on you to start doing the things you need to do to be happy with our without her. But if you keep doing what you're doing, she most certainly won't move back toward you -- eventually she'll convince herself she has to get out and away in order to escape from what she'll feel from her perspective is intolerable smothering.
JRuss thanks for this! You describe the interaction very well re: reassurance vs space. Like I said earlier, I do get it, and I had a reasonable week of trying to detach, but the news of in going out, made me go back to being weak and push for answers that make no sense. Hopefully I am learning my lessons, and your comments and support are so invaluable. Thank you again.
M 46 W 41 MR 17 T 18 S12 D14 S17
03/15 : ILYBINILWY 10/15 : IDLYA 01/16 : "I'm sacrificing to stay in the marriage for the kids!" 10/16 : She discusses Seperation BUT...she's still here..for now
