Eating Life with a Big Spoon

[HaWho]

Tad bit more immature PA behavior surfacing from h. I adhere to a pretty strict budget. H seems to have tamped down his spending but I know for sure he's taking more financial liberties than I am. (But nothing compared to what he was doing last year.)

So I do the grocery shopping and h left me the receipts for 2 items I did not buy this week. They total 10 bucks and he wants it taken out of my budget. His entitlement is just extraordinary given his spending last spring. When he came home with the items he made a big show of it. He was passive aggressively trying to tell me I don't take good care of him/his needs. I ignored it all.

Today is my 2 year BD anniversary. Can't believe I've been in this sitch that long.

Two years ago h gave me the speech from h€ll. Today he is sick with something S11 caught. I offered to make him breakfast. He accepted. So, at about the same time as he bombed, I brought him breakfast. I hope God caught that good deed. Ha ha.

This year I don't feel any of the tension about this date and the memories that surround it. Sometimes, though, I scratch my head in wonder that my "strategy" is to try and outlast this craziness that is MLC. Yes, I am moving forward and all that, but still, what a weird existence . . .

This next part will be like a PSA for the LBS dealing with the MLC spouse. But, what you're told in the beginning? It's all true. It just takes a long time to see it all. I finally get it.

I didn't cause this. It took me FOREVER to get that piece. My MLCer was telling me, 24/7, that I did cause it. You can't stop it, nor should you try. (I did that TOO and yes, it's waaay worse the second time). Moving forward begins with getting busy. When you think about your sitch frequently, switch the channel in your head. Detaching is hard. Once you begin though, you start to understand that it was actually harder to hold on. So it becomes easier to detach further and motivates you to put more distance between yourself and this person's mess. It's less painful and people always move away from pain/toward pleasure.

I owe Cadet an apology. In the beginning, he tells us all we've been given the gift of time. When I first read that I gave a big eye roll. I pictured Cadet as one of those happy-go-lucky guys who frolicked through the forest and chirped with birds. Subsequently, I have read Cadet's posts and know he was giving me wisdom I wasn't ready to swallow. So, if you're reading, Cadet, sorry. But, what he writes is true. You can spend all your time worrying about this and it won't change one thing. So, then it's all on you how you spend your time.

In the end, seeing the MLCer day in and day out, I feel sorry for these people. Hard as this is on the LBS, I am so grateful I am not going through MLC. As they self destruct they sure do leave a lot of collateral damage in their wakes.

I have seen (and continue to see) such bizarre things, that I have to find the humor in it all. Who knew such weirdness would enter my life.