I am sorry you are going through this. I totally understand that you want to know what is going on but all you are doing by asking her a bunch of questions is showing her your insecurities and that's not attractive to them. As hard as it is you need to let her go about her business and focus on you. The worst thing you can do is pressure her and push her further away. Stop pursuing her and GAL. It's hard but you can do it.
Thanks BillyHo. Believe me I know the mistake I made, and its why I posted here, mentioning that I wasn't happy with what I did. I am saying that I am finding it so hard, its so difficult to believe detaching may bring her back. What I need is what you and a few other posters have just sent. I need the reality messages and they are tremendously helpful, as even now I understand I need to try harder to detach and give her space. "Drop the Rope".
Like I said earlier, 5 hours ago I was positive after finally getting the DR book and starting a plan of reading and following the exercises. Then when I got home and she gave me her news about going out, I collapsed in a blubbering heap of weakness. I KNOW this is not the way to go, but I am going to make mistakes as I try to take control of myself.
As darknes says, there has been little detachment evidence from my posts, but I am posting like I have been detached, whereas I have more likely just been distancing myself from her, which means I don't have to monitor her emotions so much, this is a different to being detached.
Guys I am learning, and I will keep posting my successes and f***ups. Hopefully overtime there will be less of them.
M 46 W 41 MR 17 T 18 S12 D14 S17
03/15 : ILYBINILWY 10/15 : IDLYA 01/16 : "I'm sacrificing to stay in the marriage for the kids!" 10/16 : She discusses Seperation BUT...she's still here..for now
