Still hanging on ... just

[JRuss]

Oluwa -- I am not judging you, because I struggle not to do the same things in my situation, but you are really hurting things with your pursuit. It is only going to drive her further and further away. Read and read and read again Cadet's link on the Pursuer/Distancer dynamic. That dynamic is the Grim Reaper of relationships and will kill them every time.

Right now, you need reassurance and demonstrated connection; she needs space. Only one of you (you) can give the other what they need right now, and that [censored], but it is the reality. It will only be when she feels the space created by you pulling back that she'll move back toward you, and, frankly, she may never even do that, which is why everyone stresses to you that the focus must be on you to start doing the things you need to do to be happy with our without her. But if you keep doing what you're doing, she most certainly won't move back toward you -- eventually she'll convince herself she has to get out and away in order to escape from what she'll feel from her perspective is intolerable smothering.

It's all very messed up, and it's really hard when you're under the same roof, but you have to figure out how to drop the rope and pull back.

We are in your corner -- hang in there!