In the UK - PT21 feeling stuck

[Pyrite]

hey Huddy,

Apologies, have missed A LOT!!!!! Just skimmed the intro and last few posts. Surprised you are here. She must've been one hell of a woman.

I cant advise you at all sorry mate. Only wish you all the best.

You know (probably) only 1 in a thousand people here end up R their M. Overall (probably) 99% of BD scenarios end up in D.

One reason is that 99.9% of BD recipients dont even get here. They simply go with well meaning advice to move on, blah, blah, blah. And thats what they eventually do. Do they grow as much as DB "forces"? No. But there must be some growth anyway right. ( actually I'm just reminded of a sitch where he is on M #3 and no growth at all - so not always. )

My life is pretty dismal so I shouldn't really preach, but MLC or not, occupation by alien zombies or not, she is not the same person you are waiting for to come back. If she does, and you are free, open to it, then great.

Otherwise chalk it up as great while it lasted, right at the time, whatever. It [censored] that we even have to force this, but we can and we do. Don't let Huddy go to waste. Make Huddy your first priority. I know you will say that you are, but you are still contemplating and posting what your W, ex, is doing etc. which suggests that you are actually not. I'm not free of this my self so I am not criticising demeaningly.

There are (very broadly speaking) two futures. 1 - where your W comes to the party. 2 She doesn't. The odds are on 2 my friend. Heavily. Very heavily. Sure - you can do what you can to increase those odds in your favour - but at what cost?!?!? Rokmantically I love the notion of soul mates and one true love, but realistically I think that is BS. And that is not a negative thing. I honestly believe that the vast majority of people in the world are good. Its no surprise at all then that there are more than one out their for us AND ..... AND ..... in itself this is crap. So what are we doing - "we will be happy when...." This is BS. Be happy now. How is another question.

In my sitch, the reality is that she doesn't make sense, she probably never did, and their is a definite probability that she never will. Even if one day she "sees the light", the water under the bridge excludes any R. IF, if one day she "sees the light", then the W i thought I M'd would be too ashamed to R. (In my case that wont happen because of her mental condition (another years worth of [censored] that Ive had).

The future options above, - if this is going to happen, ever, it will be NEW, after the old R is buried. So you have no choice really - 1. it will never happen, and 2 - it wont happen while you are waiting by the phone.

Dude, I know how hard it is with kids in the middle, but take a break. From DB even. Still thinking of you.

Pyrite