Well I had a bit so nice conversation with W. W ignored my request to come pick up cable boxes yesterday so I texted her today asking her to let me know asap. We ended up texting back and forth. W first said if she had time she'd bring them to Ds soccer game. I told her no because there were some things I wanted to get. W told me she hasn't made a plan and can't commit to when I came come over. I asked when she would know, w continued with idk. I told her I'd circle back with her to figure out if she'd figured it out yet. I don't think W was happy with me. She told me I could come tonight and to let her know what other stuff I wanted so she could have it ready because she wanted all my stuff out of the house. I told W I couldn't make it today and that I did not want her to pack the stuff up because we together have to go through things, like books, movies and other joint stuff we bought thatbi guess we now have to split up. W told me to let her know what day and again mentioned she wanted everything Of mine gone. Idk why but this hurts. First she ignores me then she switches to wanting all my stuff gone. Still feels as though she's trying to erase me.
Why is my W so angry with me? I can tell by the tone in her texts. Such anger and idk why, idk how she could ever be un mad...and possibly talk to me like a normal human. Why did she go from wanting to be friends to pretty much hating me or what it feels like hating me.
Also wondering if W can feel when I'm missing her. Or when I'm falling apart in her absence....we used to be so connected which is why I wonder this. I used to think of her and then I'd get a text or a call but now...silence.
The pick up date is nov 12. We will go through everything in the house. And it's going to be hard. After that I will go dark. Not that it will be any different. All accounts and joint bills will be separated. Need to take myself off car insurance, final joint act where my check goes and finally the cell phone. After that I'll be waiting around to get served with D papers.
Also wondering, is me feeling better without her a way of me coping? Like am I sort of putting it off? Brushing my hurt under the rug? Living as though she's not there for my sake? Pretending? Cus as soon as I hear or think of her I'm a mess. So am I really ok without her or am I just acting as if?
