So ridiculously sad. Please help

[JRuss]

Molly -- I've gotten that same complaint: that I was too overtly sad, and that it pushed my W further away. I am not saying LBS' don't need to work really hard to find a PMA (for themselves, not their WS), but it is really hard when inside you feel like you're dying. And it's flat out the height of victim shaming for the wayward/walkaway to make the complaint. I think they feel guilty when they are forced to confront the human toll of their choices, and they don't want that and can't deal with that, and so they scapegoat.

It's frankly one of the things that helped me drop the rope to whatever extent I have recently. I started asking myself how sure am I that I want to be with someone capable of that sort of reptilian lack of empathy? It switched the focus from where it had been (doing everything possible to please my W into R) to at least asking: What do I want out of a partner, and is this person really capable of it?

Hang in there!