I don't think I am a natural. I've just reached my bullsh!t limit. On the second to last Dday, in June, I was suicidal. I felt like I was dying. A switch has flipped in the past few weeks.
After the first Dday, WS complained that the pain just poured off me all the time and that it made me hard to be around. I really resented him saying that given the fact that I was in so much pain because he cheated. You know what? He's right. I lost myself in it. I didn't even look like myself anymore. I stopped caring about my appearance. I cried continually. It wasn't good for me and I should have kicked him out ages ago.
I got my hair all cut off yesterday. I bought some much deserved new clothes. I got a massage. I actually smiled at myself in the mirror today.
Off to MC tonight, by his choice or, at least, it was by his choice when she asked at our last appointment. I haven't heard anything about it since. My goal tonight is to make a plan for him taking DD out of the house instead of him having his visitation here. After this, I don't know that I care if we make another appointment unless he has make some kind of progress on the things MC asked him to do this week.
