Delighted to see some excitement in your recent posts. Great you can envisage life without W and contemplating a future R with someone else. Life is full of potential and can be as great as you want it to be. Remember that before dwelling on next paragraph.
Your eldest kids are not yet considered old enough to decide where they live. I may be wrong buy in most places custody has to be split. Check out your legal rights. Same thing applies to W automatically keeping youngest.
If I remember right your W won't be able to keep your house . What are her plans? If she has to move out of your area too, she could move towards Devon.
I urge you to really focus on what is best for you and your kids. Is this it?
Do not be affected by W or her emotions. Even if you reconsider this move, let her stew on it. It is the first time on two years she suffers a negative consequence of her decision. Don't enter into a blame game and definitely don't accept any.
Lastly don't let the recent feedback re-stick you. People are trying to guide you not stop you moving forward.
Best wishes
R 25 years M 14 years S11 & S13 Working on it alone since Oct 2014 M in trouble a lot earlier (~2 years) Feb 2016. 1st R chat in a yr. Next R chat Aug'17 Still together
Sorry my question was when does one know they are ready to start trying to build a new relationship with someone else ...I know I am not there
In Divorce Remedy, MWD warns about entering into a new relationship immediately following the divorce.
Ghost, you fear being alone. You are co-dependent on a relationship. If you go into a new R following the breakup of your M........the chances of finding yourself in a similar situation again, are high. Subconsciously, you are trying to replace your W by getting another woman as quickly as you can.
You need some time to learn who you are and heal what has been hurt. Have you had any breakthrough with the therapist you are seeing?
In time, you will fall in love again, however, please do not begin another R right away.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
Ghost, don't worry about dating right now. You will be ready for it when you no longer need it to be happy. You've been with ex for a good portion of your entire life and being on your own for a while will be good for you. It will be a bit lonely but I promise you its really not that bad. Give yourself space and time to get to know you, the rest will fall into place much later.
Accept what is, let go of what was, and have faith in what will be
Thank you for your replies I am not filing for divorce I don't want to divorce
My W and I have spoken with the older children and they have both said they would want to live with me in Devon however I feel this would very much be based on me securing a property with land.
I do however still have many concerns re the distance it is about a three and a half hour drive each way
I have a question I am not good at relationships I have just had the one I do like being around people,
My job as a driving instructor means I spend time with people helping them to pass and then once they pass off they go very few keep in touch once they have passed ....I am teaching a lady at the moment and we have a very good in car relationship she is married and happy I would like to remain as friends once she passes. My circle of friends is limited and I would like to build it ...I do however see i am somewhat vulnerable with my emotions
I do not know how to approach the conversation with her about keeping in contact once she passes or In light of my situation perhaps I should just move on
I doubt myself and my decisions
Me:48 W 41 M:18 T:26 2 D 18 & 4 2 S 17 & 13 Bomb: 20/7/2015 in house separation D filed 06/17 Separate houses 10/17 D Final 29/12//17.
Hi Ghost, I don't think asking a married woman to keep in touch is really appropriate. However, extending an invite to her and her husband as a couple may be fine. I don't think you can really foster new friendships with married women without that causing difficulties.
T 13 M 7 Me 48 H 46 SS 15 BD 7.14 PA D final 5.16 (H filed)
We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
Being in your vulnerable state, I would not be hanging out with married women. Plus, this is your job, and mixing business with pleasure like that could get kind of hairy, especially with married women.
