The book of Lou - Chapter 6

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There are a number of MLCers that come back and have false reconciliations w/their spouses and leave again because of that loss feeling of sexual desire. Besides the fact he wasn't truly ready or should I say baked up to return home. The panic set in when he thought you and your family were moving on and doing very well w/o him in it. So, he ran back to you w/o doing the necessary hard work.

He's leaving again and you are still on friendly terms. You had a good marriage and a lot of years today and you have two sons together. So, you will most likely remain in contact throughout the years and eventually, he's going to see the light that you were actually the woman he truly wanted and still wants. Keep in mind, he's still in replay and he's got a lot of depression going on. The depression is what is tainting his sexual attraction towards you. That depression fog has to lift and it's going to be a while before that happens. At some point, he's going to want to try again...but that decision will be up to you. I am going to give you this advice...do not take him back so quickly next time. He has a lot of difficult work to do on himself and he needs to win you back on his own. If he wants to come back, make him do the work and don't put the welcome mat out so quickly.

I also suggest that you not be so readily available when he contacts you. Sure it's nice to chat, but this time...make him do the work totally. Don't call him to chit chat unless it's an emergency. He needs to realize that you aren't going to be there for him and that you aren't going to be waiting around on him any longer.

If and when the depression lifts, that's when he's going to realize what he's lost and that's going to be a while. Until that time, live your life for you. Don't wait on him, make your life your own and if he does want back, he'll do whatever it takes to get you back.

For now, keep the focus on you.