Me and Mildlife and...III

[CT1118]

What about it worked ? And who did it work for ???

I believe my demeanor worked and the honesty of my answers coming through not just words, but body language, character, vocal tone. Hell, the biggest could have been just not responding to her email. It worked for me in that nothing about me was fake or trying or hoping. I was just talking as me and I felt comfortable.

I do understand E's points on language quite clearly. There was a tone of direction in there which was certainly not intended. Perhaps looks harsher in the written as opposed to the spoken, but the point is taken. May have even been subconscious.

C, when we come through this via the DB route, we become so much more enlightened in how we respond rather than react, we become aware of our communication, we are light years ahead of our WAS's in that regard...

Whatever she has been doing for all of these months, I highly doubt that SHE has been working on becoming as self enlightened as you have...

No, to the level I have, no, at least as far as I know, no. The closet I have heard her say, She has a new director who, from what I was told, is very much into business theory and assigned her to read a book. She has told me about how the book redefines accountability, victim mindset, motivations, and action ownership...from a business leader vantage point. However, she told me she is beginning to see how it applies to her self. For her own health, I am glad she gets something out of it.

You responding as the new you ?

Catharsis

You have to be careful on how you present yourself to her. You have to walk a razor's edge with your words. That is why it is so important to allow your actions to speak for you, and to be consistent with them.

Your words have to power to cut her deeply, not your intent, yet like we discussed before ? The interpretation lies with the reader(listener)...

BTW, that is why I spoke of that earlier...

So while your intent may not be to punish her, choose those words carefully....

Right now, just you being this new, self enlightened, not so much of an asshat guy, could be construed as punishing her...

Point well taken. Reminders are good.

Time, self work, consistent actions....those are your best friend

Best case, is that you have no expectations when you talk with her. You weren't' expecting to be "married" on your first date were you ?

Just be you...

Feels pretty cool to be me now actually. Son was sick today. Souse took him to school despite this. I drove 25 mi. from work to see him at lunch. Teachers said he perked up and was acting better. I checked him out anyway and took him to lunch. In the restaurant, he asked me to do this funny voice I do with him (really just a bad impression of my German relatives). We were laughing and he was doing his version back at me. Really funny guy, my son. I realized later that in that moment with him I was completely present. I had no other thoughts of anything but what he and I were doing. Present moments are rare for me, but something I have sought. Found one of them today.

Also, while you are doing this...

She isn't buying the actions at first either...

She is gonna wonder, why ? how ? when ?

True

And more importantly ??

Why did it have to come to this, for this to happen....

It's like there was a training camp on things to say.

I'm gonna add to Mules' tagline a bit for you...

Integrity, Strength, and Honor....

and maybe sprinkle on a touch of humility from time to time : )

Epistemic motivation sir. Appreciate you as always.