well....haven't seen the W. or D. Couldn't feel better. I've been having an amazing couple of weeks. So busy! Not just that but since we hardly communicate there’s not much to report.
W has texted me today asking about some login info only I had for our D. And the other day about some bill. Responded and that’s it.
Also got an email from a joint account we had (only W used it for the person we used to rent a room out to) she closed that account. Didn’t tell me of course. -not that I ever used it. Or had money in it.
The other day a friend AL texted that she saw W’s SOW on snapchat (W deleted me a few months ago) And that SOW and W were laying on the couch. D across the way in a chair. Kind of rubbed me the wrong way. According to W I was the one that wouldn’t let D sit with us on the couch…and yet, D was not near them. Also that SOW was fat and ugly. Not that there’s anything wrong with overweight. W though had recently been all into working out and losing weight, also encouraged me to loose the few extra lbs I had and such. So its weird she reverted.
Sister also texted me a few days ago about W’s Facebook post. W apparently complained about not having cable. (we are still Fbook friends but I don’t follow her nor do I look. I know it takes A LOT but I’m good at it now)
Friend KG just texted me. I met Friend KG from W’s nursing school. W hated her, wouldn’t like me hanging out with KG even though W introduced us. (W was jealous) at any rate, KG passed her exam to get her RN Licence. Which got my mind going…of course. Once it starts it’s so hard to stop it. Well I got to thinking, W and SOW should be taking their tests here soon (I don’t know when and neither does KG cus like I said W doesn’t like her and they are not friends) I hope they fail. At least once… augh then I feel bad for feeling that way. Also, I did the math and W will be making good money so will SOW (time to pay all the CC debt W racked up) and from the looks of it, life never got hard for W. she was greedy, mean, rude, condescending, shady AF, and completely moved on. -and some days I feel stuck.
Can’t help but to think of how I was supposed to celebrate W passing this test. This is the beginning of W’s career. One she worked so hard for. This is the start of something amazing for W and I don’t get to be a part of it. It hurts. Not as bad as before, but it sure hurts.
I feel better when we don’t talk. When W is completely out of my life. I’m happy without her. But there’s always someone or something that reminds me of her. I was sitting on my bed the other day and I thought about how happy and in love Roommate is now. How one day That WILL be me. So I thought about the in love part, I’m not in love with my wife. I love her. I don’t know that I love her as much as before. I’ll always love her nonetheless. But It’s hard to explain just how I feel. Also to differentiate between the hurt, pain, and the remnant love I have.
Two highlights of my week. Two different friends texted me that they wanted or needed to talk / a friend. I’m not going to lie, that feels good. I had plans on halloween night but my friend B (divorced older guy) had a rough one with his adult daughters so he needed to talk. I was bummed to change my plans with Roommate but happy he thought of me and was able to meet up with him and talk. Same with another friend on Friday. The timing just happened between my plans with Roommate and meeting my friend. I Got to catch up with roommate this morning told her about these two encounters because I ran out the door both times and didn’t explain much. But as I was leaving for work today roommate said “you’re a good friend Cheesyt” and I thought…yeah I’m not that bad!
