I guess I am feeling that not moving towards her and trying to engage, it seems that we are farther apart.
Imagine you two are on a walk where shes a few steps ahead of you. What happens if you keep walking? She is just going to match your speed walking away. But what if you stop walking? For a while, it WILL look like shes walking away still. in fact, the gap between you will continue to grow. But, that is the only way theres a chance she will turn around. So, at some point in the future, SHE might start walking back towards YOU.
Originally Posted By: Oluwa
this wasn't really me pursuing her, I just felt like sleeping in there, but then felt restless and decided to get up.
Im not going to argue with your intentions. But if I were her, I would feel pressured and pursued.
Originally Posted By: Oluwa
I feel that in order to be a stronger man, I need to stick up for myself, I need to tell her when I don't like the way she talks to me. Yes I want to be married to her still, but it can't continue for both our sakes, if no behaviours change, i.e. if I stay a doormat/Mr Nice Guy.
Yes, you DO need to stick up for yourself. Have you read the thread on boundaries? What you said is trying to control HER. "you know if YOU did XXXYYYZZ..." Instead, the correct way to do this is to put the boundary around YOURSELF. "When you talk to me like this in the future, I will AAABBBCCC." For example, I will leave the room for a few minutes or I will go do something else. Something that shows a response that you will do based on her actions.
Originally Posted By: Oluwa
I feel I would be much better off emotionally if I at least had a say in that seperation, in that I agreed to it or even instigated it.
Do you want to separate? Does that bring you closer to your goals? Im not sure I follow in your logic of "having a say". If she wants to separate, what are you going to do to prevent it....chain her up in the basement?
