I have no idea if any of this stuff I am doing is working. I feel better and more stable so I guess that means it is working. I'm finding it easier not to reach out to him and he is reaching out to me. Today, he messaged and asked if he could put my winter tires on my car for me. Don't really know what to say. The gesture is thoughtful but part of me feels like he is just trying to keep a foot in the door just in case whatever he is doing doesn't work out.
MC is scheduled for this Thursday at his request. I am wanting to cancel. He needs to be doing some work on myself and I need to continue working on me.
Support group tonight! Going to go to my first yoga class this week too! Yay me!
Don't assume he isn't working on himself. His "work" may include all the things he's been doing or asking to do. Detaching is a 180 for people that are connected. If he was distant before, detaching would be a horrible thing for him to do and his 180 would be to reach out and try to engage more.
With that being said. Focus on you and your stuff. i think you are doing a great job!
34, xw33 M-10, T-18 2D (8 and 5) Ilybinilwy-1/16 EA/PA- 7/15-present (with my former best friend) Trial apartment-2/16 (also when she considers us separated) W moved out-8/16 W Filed 11/21/16 D final 1/30/17
It's not really an assumption. He admits it. MC referred him to an IC weeks ago and he hasn't even made an appointment. It's okay. That's his problem. I just know that I can't venture back into a relationship with him as long as he is an unsafe partner.
If rifling through the underwear drawer of the wife on whom he cheated is "working on himself", I'd hate to see what not working would look like.
Hang in there, Molly -- you're doing very well from where I sit.
Me: 46 W: 44 Married: 17 Together 21 D13; S10 BD: 03.03.15 (Not attracted to you) Almost 2 years trying, alone, to save marriage Status now: Divorced (effective 06.13.17)
He did it again tonight. Showered here. I have had a series of appointments after work so he has come and stayed with DD for an hour or two a day. Left his u serwear on the floor for me to clean up. I actually sent him a text, just now, telling him that t needed to stop. WTF?
Where is he staying? Why can't DD go to his place?
34, xw33 M-10, T-18 2D (8 and 5) Ilybinilwy-1/16 EA/PA- 7/15-present (with my former best friend) Trial apartment-2/16 (also when she considers us separated) W moved out-8/16 W Filed 11/21/16 D final 1/30/17
He stays at his parents which is about twenty minutes out of town but still, he has never showered after work in twenty years. I feel like mailing his dirty u derwear to him.
I don't really know if I am doing the right thing or not but I am not contacting him at all or responding to any of his messages. I want my marriage to work but the reality is that right now, he is happily sitting on the fence. He showers at home. He comes and goes as he pleases. He keeps the money he wants. Time to kick him off the fence.
I don't really know if I am doing the right thing or not but I am not contacting him at all or responding to any of his messages. I want my marriage to work but the reality is that right now, he is happily sitting on the fence. He showers at home. He comes and goes as he pleases. He keeps the money he wants. Time to kick him off the fence.
He's cake eating.
20 mins out of the way. Too bad. Have him pick her up and bring her back. Gotta lock down your personal space.
34, xw33 M-10, T-18 2D (8 and 5) Ilybinilwy-1/16 EA/PA- 7/15-present (with my former best friend) Trial apartment-2/16 (also when she considers us separated) W moved out-8/16 W Filed 11/21/16 D final 1/30/17
I agree. I've made it too easy for him so far. Proud of myself today. I've ignored all his attempts to make contact. Am I normal? I am losing interest in reconciliation. The less I contact him, the stronger I feel. Don't get me wrong, there are moments of overwhelming sadness but I put up with his infidelity for a long time. Three Ddays in four years. I suddenly feel like I can breathe a bit.
