There was no hugs/cuddles this weekend again, normally I would ask for one or move over when there hasn't been anything for a week or two, but i didnt do that, and now she isnt coming to me. I don't know if this detaching is working, as it does seem to be pushing her away more.
So how do you feel you are 'pushing her away'?
Originally Posted By: Oluwa
I slept in Home theatre, but got up around 4am to toilet.
I decided to go and sleep in the MBR now I knew she was awake,
but I couldn't settle for a few minutes and decided to leave again
Do you see how this appears weak? You did something, then changed your mind (and pursued her) and then when you didnt get what you wanted, you slunk back off?
Im all for staying in the MBR, but this wishy washy back and forth is not helping you any.
Originally Posted By: Oluwa
she said "Do you want your food now?" in a angry way, I said "Yes!", then I asked her which one is it ? She said, "It obvious isnt it!". I said, "well you might be eating too!", she went on to say "Well you have more food so its obvious which one is yours". I said "You know, the amount of energy you expended there to explain why I should have known which food was mine, you could have saved all that and pointed and said that one!."
Whats the point of your final thing? Just say "thanks for making my food" and be done with it? As Sandi says, would you rather be right or be married?
Originally Posted By: Oluwa
As a definite Nice Guy and pursuer, to detach is against my normal nature and it makes no sense (in my normal mindset) that this would cause her to move closer to me. Certainly it looks like its having the opposite effect at the moment.
Distancing and detaching are two incredibly different things. You seem to be matching her moods right now. If she's happy, you feel good. If she's angry, then you are grumpy and argue with her. YOU need to be in control of your mood. THATS detaching. All you are doing is putting distance between you and her. Thats not bad, per se. But if you arent also taking control of your own emotions, then the distance isnt really going to mean much one way or the other. I see lots of negative interactions...how can you make them more positive?
Originally Posted By: Oluwa
But I don't want to be doing this another year down the road.
So, youre just 'trying' this to see if there is an immediate change? How about worry about next year next year. Worry about today. And maybe tomorrow.
