I think it was great you could stop and assess the situation for what it really was.
You were so in the pattern of turning everything your W does into a negative that you were failing to see the good. I would truly make it a habit to catch yourself when you begin to judge and assume her behaviors are negative.
I've noticed you have different ways of parenting. To you, you feel like the kids stayed up way too late and won't get up in the morning. To you, you think it's wrong. To your W, she saw a fun holiday with her kids and some down time snuggling on the couch. Is either way wrong? No? Just different. If you can't change the differences, try to change the perspectives and see if your W's parenting calls have true reasons to them that may not be what you would do, but it doesn't make it wrong.
I think you really need to reframe your thinking from something so negative to something positive and you might see everything in a different light.
