Still hanging on ... just

[Oluwa]

Another thing I wanted to get peoples opinion on.

I have just done the Tax Return and we are going to get a reasonable amount. She has been talking before about wanting to go back home to Nigeria and Europe. This is going to cost us a fortune, money we don't really have. But the tax return is going to help alot, I havent submitted it yet as she will see it when it comes into the bank account.

I fear that this will cause her to believe that we can now go on that trip and she may string me along further so she can fund her holiday back to Nigeria. I hope she wouldn't be that devious, but you can't be sure with her behaviour anymore can you.

I would rather use the money to help us seperate if that is what she eventually wants. I thought of keeping it, and I could use it to rent a place for 6 months on a trial separation so she can really see how life is without me. This would help in my detachment.

But I do need to tell her about it soon, my friend says I should keep it a secret or she will definitely want to spend it. She has a track record of over-spending and I have enabled it over the years. But I am not happy about, stupid NGS.

Any advice ?