WW confused about the future.

[excile101]

I hear what you are saying sandi2 and although I would like a positive outcome for what's left of my family, I am ok. I live my life even though I have thrown myself into my job which takes up a lot of my time, and I see my kids as much as I can. I would like some intimacy with someone but am content to just close my front door and do my own thing or see my friends.

My stbx has made the children her whole life. She is massively involved in everything they do and has no time or desire for anyone new. I don't know what goes on in her head as like you said, she has been secretive in the past and I would never really know what she is doing to boost her ego if at all.

I meet up with her and the kids as, to be honest, it's nice to spend time together. The children enjoy it and I feel good taking them all out for meals and doing fun things. If people were to see us, they would presume we are just a normal healthy family.

My issue is that I struggle with what to do next after the divorce. This crazy idea that we can wipe the slate clean and start again is just weird but seeing that I haven't thought about moving on with anyone else, I am happy to see her next move if there is one.

I do wonder what would have to happen for to react in some way. What I would have to do that doesn't affect the kids to make her get a reality check that would make her do something decisive.
I don't mean go and get laid or play games with another woman. Just make her show me her cards so to speak.

As I said, I am ok the way things are right now and my career has really taken off since we separated. But this arrangement can't go on for ever and just distancing myself would mean I see the kids less which I don't want.

She is giving me false hope though and likes to back track when stating something about her life that "things could be different" in X amount of months/ years. She doesn't suspect I would even think of dating due to my work schedule and she is right. I don't want to play games with her but I feel there has to be a way out of this.

sandi2, if she just wants to play happy families when it suits her, how could I still be involved but make her realise that she has lost me? She is a controlling person and I think she feels that she has found a common way for us to co-exist without arguing and being good parents but without actually being together which just doesn't feel right.