A review of finding out about A and telling W

[Steady9]

As I reflect back over the past year or so, my W was not as happy, friendly or something... Then when she went to her home town in early summer and then recently she was distant over the phone... She wanted us to move closer to her family and pushed for that over the past months... And she would be disrespectful in small ways...

OK so today, she is different, happy to be back home it appears. No longer pushes to move back closer to home, appreciates how happy the kids are in school here, appreciates our house, appreciates our town....Happy that I gave her a second chance.

Without me doing anything so to speak, my W is a new person or I should say the person I knew 10 years ago....

It would have been tough maybe to win my W back but by letting her go and see what life might be like with another or by letting her know I found about A (and obviously she feels she has now hurt me more than I have hurt her for example)... We have started again on friendly terms. Sex is everyday for 6 days in a row and intimate and better than it has been in years.

I am learning and practicing forgiveness, compassion and empathy. I am not good at this, and this is occurring in my head only. My W does not know I am working on it. I believe my W was lonely or isolated in some way unknown to me.... for months. And I accept my role in where we are. And all that being said, it is still tough for me today. When I look at her it is good sometimes, and then I see a liar, bold face lying, deceiving me over the past few months during and between her two trips to her home town.

The checking and watching will go on for some time.... I hate this part but know it needs to be done for some time.