The DB principals are based on communication and doing what works.
This is true. While what I did say actually worked, as in it turned her response towards me and my feelings for the first time in who knows when, that was not my intention. My intention was just being...actually, no intention, just a human responding to a human approached. No expectation, no anticipation, no prerecorded response at this point. This was despite the fact that I was speaking with honesty and unconcerned with what worked or what did not, just my truth. However, your point is one hundred. I do wish to ask, is this where the truth meets the training? Where I am at? Where one is just one? I am not saying abandon the program and stop learning, rather where you just know what you can express of your belief in you and know what you say, in the face of whatever you face, is going to come out like you mean it, because you do? I really feel like I am on the outer edge of myself, perhaps further, hopefully further, JC I hope further. I'm not bleeding anymore.
What about it worked ? And who did it work for ???
I see what E is saying about punishing...
C, when we come through this via the DB route, we become so much more enlightened in how we respond rather than react, we become aware of our communication, we are light years ahead of our WAS's in that regard...
Whatever she has been doing for all of these months, I highly doubt that SHE has been working on becoming as self enlightened as you have...
You responding as the new you ?
You have to be careful on how you present yourself to her. You have to walk a razor's edge with your words. That is why it is so important to allow your actions to speak for you, and to be consistent with them.
Your words have to power to cut her deeply, not your intent, yet like we discussed before ? The interpretation lies with the reader(listener)...
BTW, that is why I spoke of that earlier...
So while your intent may not be to punish her, choose those words carefully....
Right now, just you being this new, self enlightened, not so much of an asshat guy, could be construed as punishing her...
Time, self work, consistent actions....those are your best friend
Best case, is that you have no expectations when you talk with her. You weren't' expecting to be "married" on your first date were you ?
Just be you...
Also, while you are doing this...
She isn't buying the actions at first either...
She is gonna wonder, why ? how ? when ?
And more importantly ??
Why did it have to come to this, for this to happen....
I'm gonna add to Mules' tagline a bit for you...
Integrity, Strength, and Honor....
and maybe sprinkle on a touch of humility from time to time : )
