Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Actually I would not mind it either! You're a lot of fun, girlie!
So sorry to hear your married cousin is having an affair with a married guy, news like that abounds, and sort of shakes you to the soul. I know that there are a lot of people whom I really really don't think would ever cheat, who try to live an upright moral life, but have learned that you never know for sure. I just hope for myself that if I was ever so unhappy in my marriage, that I would at least file for divorce before dating someone else. But people always seem to be able to justify their actions to themselves. Ugh.
When is your date with E Harmony Guy? Will we meet him next weekend? Brave man LOL Hey if EricS and UR are your sibs, then I am your mom, and will give him the steely squint eye (learned it from my Italian aunt) if he acts up.
So glad you and ex have worked out D's trick or treating schedule so his wife is not involved. You are too good to that woman. I used to be too good to my ex's wife too, but that is over, as she forbid my ex from driving up to CT to help put a new roof on S43's chicken coop, and dared to insult my S43 and call him lazy. Her husband has not held a job since 1994 (really) and she calls my son who works like a dog from sun up to 1 or 2 in the morning some days lazy??? I shall not forgive THAT any time soon. And seriously.....my ex would let any woman forbid him from doing anything he actually wanted to do? I strongly suspect he is exaggerating a bit there, as HE is too lazy to help with a roof. Ugh.
It's almost 5 pm here and we have not had a single trick or treater. But my Halloween candy is mysteriously disappearing, but just the chocolate bars LOL. Must be the work of S31! Never too old to love chocolate!
Linda
Me 65, Ex 64 M 38 y 2 adult S, 4 G-Kids MLC 11/07 BD 12/09 D 3/14 Dating nice guy 7/14 Engaged to nice guy 12/17
You want the weekend to get here because you need it? Need what? Or should that be obvious? Ive needed "it" for a year or so now. . I swear, finding a FWB gets more and more appealing all the time.
I struggle with not being too critical yet not overlooking what is otherwise obvious. You nay be doing the same. E guy may well be trying too hard or is just excited that he thinks he may have found someone. Or he may just really be interested. It's just so hard to tell until meeting - at least it is for me.
As for the flirting, I'd have to know what he's saying to judge for sure. One guys flirting is another woman's creepy. I will say this, he may be awkwardly trying to flirt with you to make sure or try to make sure he's not friend zoned. That really could be all it is. See what he does in person. If he does no flirting you (or any date) thinks he may have no interest or may get friend zoned. If he does too much or the wrong type he's coming in too strong. It really can be a tight room walk.
All these are reasons to stay off the phone too much until meeting. It really seems like that is very often the case. Just better off cutting to the meet - even a casual meet.
And I'll close with this likely confusing piece of advice... Trust your gut. You seem to have a very good sense. Just don't overthink it and cut him or anyone off too fast as you may then pass by some otherwise good guys. Clear as mud, right? Trust your gut but give them a chance. Balance those two and you'll do well.
DonH Midwest Me 56 WAW-EXW 55 Met 11/95 / Married 5/00 Bomb 6/20/05 / She Filed on 6/2/06 / Divorced on 10/9/06 4 who'd qualify as GF since D & dated about 25 women since D
Ok, so, here's my two cents on this guy. You are going to compare him to your exbf. It happens after a relationship ends. But I know you know that you cant do that. Everyone is different.
I do believe you should be open to all possibilities or else you can miss out on someone wonderful. That said, I also agree with DonH...that you need to follow your gut.
Maybe what you are feeling is true..that he doesnt do it for you. But I dont think you can really know that until you meet him. Unless there is a definitive eww feeling in your stomach.
You are scared and tired and just dont want things to be so difficult, right? I so get that. Unfortunately, things just dont seem to go easily for either of us. Not sure why that is. But it's what we got.
As far as your cousin, that is sad. I guess it is possible for anyone to cheat. I cant imagine doing that, though. I am honest to a fault. And to me, it seems like such a lot of work and trouble.
G, we both need to learn to let go some and allow life to happen and see where it goes sometimes. I think we get in our own heads and overthink some things.
Sorry for the highjack, G, but I am steaming angry reading Rosa's post. Rosa, your ex is a as$ and his way sounds like one, too. Sorry, but, I calls it like I sees it. Shame on him for allowing her to stop him from helping his son. And shame on her for saying anything about someone elses' children..especially her husband's. I always thought you were way too nice to the both of them. I hope you mean it when you say that is done.
G, we both need to learn to let go some and allow life to happen and see where it goes sometimes. I think we get in our own heads and overthink some things.
I also heard that the sky was blue...
Wait, are we all posting overly obvious things now....??
Let's go, guys! I'll buy a private island when I win the lottery!
Thanks for all chiming in. I've decided to give the guy a chance, who knows, I haven't even met him yet. Maybe we will hit off, maybe we won't. Eric is right, I kind of look for the "one", not to lock them down right away, just because I only want to give to someone who has the potential to be in it for the long term.
I am soooo guilty of not letting life happen and just letting things be. I was never ever a control freak, but now, getting hurt again and again, I feel like I need to employ some sort of control and feel like I am doing everything the smart way. That's where the overthinking comes in.
My gut has never ever failed me. It has been 100% right every time. It's not so much my gut right now, but when it does become my gut, I'm going to run!
YES UR! I am very scared and very tired and I really just want something to be easy and just happen. But yes, I have come to the conclusion, that's it's just never going to be that way. And there is no logical explanation why, because I know we have both worked so hard and stayed so strong, we deserve it, damit! Putting in all the effort to get hurt every time seems to be kicking my arse lately.
No problem on the hijack, UR, because you are saying what I am thinking. RL, your ex has no mind of his own and is a child. I feel bad for S43. Luckily he takes after you and is a hardworking stand-up person.
E Harmony guy isn't coming this weekend. I don't want him there. I just want you guys:)
"The difficulties of Life are intended to make us BETTER,not bitter". "Fear is a prison, where you are the jailer. FREE YOURSELF!" "Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B." - Jack3Beans
. I swear, finding a FWB gets more and more appealing all the time.