The length of withdrawal is not the same for everyone. If she is exposed to seeing him, hearing his voice, reading messages, seeing photos, etc.......the less likely she'll be able to withdraw. She has to be willing to do what's necessary to break hold of the addiction. If she works with him, change jobs. If he goes to church with her, change churches. An in-law, stay away from family gatherings where he'll be attending. A neighbor, move away. I'm serious! An emotional affair is very powerful. Never underestimate the effects of an EA.
I think depression, usually, goes hand in hand with the withdrawal period. Her willingness, or lack thereof, to save her MR will probably determine the length of time. She has to have time to get him out of her system, and free up her emotions/heart to love her H. She can't truly be in love with two men at the same time....in the same way. Give her some time to process and adjust.
If your W is remorseful, then I believe her withdrawal time will not last as long as one who remains in a bitter, wayward state of mind. When you can see her words lining up with her attitude/actions......then those are the biggest clues about far she's come through the withdrawals. I think for women, especially, the attitude usually tells most of the story about what she's feeling.
Christy is right, we need to hear much more about your story.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
