So what, specifically, are you thinking you won't be able to do for your new man? Do you want mental permission to go a year at a time without sex if you are overwhelmed with life? Do you want him to know that you won't be able to spend much time with him in the evenings? Are you thinking he'll get frustrated because you can't go out to the bar at night with you on weeknights? Where, SPECIFICALLY, is it that you think he's going to feel fed up?
So I really do wonder what it is you need your partner to be able to sacrifice, and why you feel you are unable to provide what your partner will need from you?
My only other question is whether you think he'll change, or you will? If you can't go out to the bars now, wouldn't he understand the lifestyle of what it takes to be with someone with a kid? Do you think HE will change and want more? Or do you think you are needy now and willing to do anything to feel better, but when you are feeling better YOU won't want to have to put so much into it?
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Just to add...Specifically, I worry about the uncontrollable changes that come up in life. I will age, there will be younger, beautiful women out there. I can get sick or injured. I will not be as desirable as time goes on and Sex is no longer as exciting as it was in the beginning. New Husband might decide he does not want to sacrifice monogamy. So yes I worry about my changes causing him to change and perhaps wanting more. And I worry about how these changes contribute to impermanence of a marriage or infidelity. In my fantasy, marriage withstood change. But it really doesn't.
JellyB recently posted on your thread about the ability to accept that things change. I know that's a part of buddhism and spirituality. And perhaps the key to peaceful thinking. But for me it's hard, because I view change as great loss.
It's funny, because my husband had changed for the worse and I never would have left him or been unfaithful to him, but I'm not sure if I will find a partner like me in that aspect.
