Me and Mildlife and...III

[ericmsant2]

CT

A couple of observations between your conversation with you W.

A lot of “YOU” in your statements, which often times will put someone on the defensive. I quoted your post piece by piece and listed how I may have responded.

"I did. I would rather not discuss this with our son here"

You could have stopped here and not proceed. Just a thought.

Me, "If you want to know what I think, you should ask.

My version of what could have been said instead…..Me, "If you want to know what I think, then feel free to ask me.

Your email made many assumptions about what I think, what hurt me, what I need.

I felt the email made assumptions about what I think, what hurt me and what I need

How would you know, you never asked, not once.

I would have not said this at all. If you felt you really needed to….I would have said “I felt like you did not ask about X”.

I am not going to give you this information unless you ask, as I do not feel I can without you getting defensive, questioning my motives, or thinking I seek to hurt you."

Instead of “I am not going to”….you could have said, I feel that had I responded, it may have resulted in a response that could have been perceived in a way that I would not have wanted.

The DB principals are based on communication and doing what works.

What I sense from your post is a bit of punishing her, which I can understand. IMO, you may need to determine what you really want. It seems like opportunities have presented themselves to you that may have given you an opportunity to show her the new you. Do you want this opportunities?

Not judging buddy – just asking.

I am glad you had a good time with your son.