New thread

[Sotto]

Yes, so those general goals above can be broken down into some specific and early ones like:

I'm going to shower and wash my hair every morning.
I will cook a healthy meal from scratch three times a week
This week, I will take the kids to X
I'll take those trackie bottoms to the charity store on Friday
Saturday, I'll buy myself two new pairs of fetching trousers
I will limit X box time to half an hour three times a week

And so on....looking forward to seeing your goals :-)

[sandi2]

She's been having her hair done, buying clothes and her nails done - which is fine, but if she's unable to budget and prioritise properly, I suspect that she's likely to have a very big shock when living on her own.

That is one of the consequences she may have to experience. Your part is to get out of the way, and not rescue her.

[job]

I realize that you are fairly new to the Forum and wanted to let you know one of the Board policies is to stick to one thread until you've reached 100 postings/replies. By doing so, it not only allows you to follow your progress along the way, but it also helps us to determine which thread to follow as well as your progress.

You can change your Subject Line at any time within your thread.

Cadet may come along and merge your two threads together.

[Cadet]

On your goals - listen to Darkness.

Make your goals things YOU can control.

Like I will walk a mile today.
I will try to smile 10 times.
I will get a good night sleep.
I will not yell at my children.


Your threads have been merged, please stick to one until 100 posts.

[RBG80]

Thanks guys,

Apologies thought that once my first thread had reached 100, I could have multiple threads - I understand what you mean now.

I need to revisit my goals then and make them both s.m.a.r.t. and personal to me.

I've found that the spitefulness of last weekend has carried me through this week and I have been feeling much different - not necessarily better - just different.

I've had a message for an old (woman) colleague who want to meet up for a drink next week. I don't think its a date, but have agreed to go because we got on so well and it'll get me out on a Friday night. Its nice to know that people care though.

I have also been distancing myself from the W this week, remaining polite is she messages me (which is rare), but keeping answers short and to the point. Hope i'm heading in the right direction.

[MoveFrwd]

I've had a message for an old (woman) colleague who want to meet up for a drink next week. I don't think its a date, but have agreed to go because we got on so well and it'll get me out on a Friday night. Its nice to know that people care though.

This is probably bad idea, but only you can be the judge.

Id focus on making your GAL with men or mixed company or at least with a group.

Im not sure one on one time with a member of the opposite sex is the best GAL strategy.

[Cadet]

Apologies thought that once my first thread had reached 100, I could have multiple threads - I understand what you mean now.

You can have multiple threads but just one at a time please....

It makes following your story so much easier later on when you go back to read them.

[RBG80]

Hey Darkness,
Appreciate the comments, but I genuinely mean that it's not a date. It is just a catch up with a friend.
Am I missing something?
Thoughts / opinions please ladies & gents....

[MoveFrwd]

Hey Darkness,
Appreciate the comments, but I genuinely mean that it's not a date. It is just a catch up with a friend.
Am I missing something?

In my opinion, maybe a little. Just because you think it's not a date, how would it be viewed by others? What if, for example, W's mother saw you out to this dinner?

Like I said, you may know better for your sitch. But in general, I wouldnt advise going out for a 1 on 1 night with a member of the opposite sex at this point as your GAL.

[RBG80]

So there is very little (to non) communication now between me and the W. Nothing regarding any R or even progress.

I am still being told by many people that "the way she's handled the situation is disgusting" and no-one can seem to comprehend as to what has happened.

I'm trying to get on with my own life and feel so much better than I did when she left 8 weeks ago, but I'm beginning to feel somewhat numb to the situation now. I don't want to go backwards and understand that the M is broken (although still don't feel beyond repair - although my estimation of this gets a little smaller each and every day).

My efforts are still being focused on my Son and I'm trying to ensure that I keep a clean home and that all the bills are paid.

I'm unsure as to what steps I need to take next, or just carry on doing what I'm doing?... I feel that I am treading water without progressing (although and equally, not going backwards).

I still love my W dearly and want nothing more that to R and be a family again, however I'm 8 weeks in and would never have thought that I would be feeling anything other than pain for months and months and months (and whilst I am still feeling this, I thought I'd still be hiding under the covers). Is this normal, or have I missed out a stage that I should have gone through?

Any advise ladies and gents.