Taking another dolly step...

[Surfer]

Coly,

The NC thing can be so hard at times. One minute you feel detached, then you get the odd bout of loneliness and you really miss them. But it goes if you let it.

I find doing something to cheer you up or even doing something to take your mind off it helps.

Christmas is going to be tricky for many in here but I think it's worth planning something now. Its my first Christmas in a separated life. I can look at it one of two ways. I can be lonely and sad and miss the fact that my family is less than 15mins away having a family Christmas without me or I can GAL and plan now. My parents and wider family are a 3-4 hour drive away. I moved here to be with my W, get married and have kids about 15 years ago. There's plenty of things to do out there. I think I will spend part of the time with my family and take the kids. Part may be here too. New year celebrations need planning too. I have a friend having a party and she is suggesting having it here....I need to think about that and other things to do.

Perhaps getting some plans in place will help. Have you got any thoughts on what may help you? It will still be a lovely time if you plan it. Don't be one of those people that dreads Christmas and NC with H.

It's Halloween and we would normally dress the house and the kids would go out with W. The kids are now back (went yesterday) with W and are going 'trick or treating' with her at her parents tonight. They will love it and that's the main thing. I decided I could just sit and let the other kids come round, door knockIng, and be sad, or I could 'do something'. So I did. Yesterday, when the kids were here, we put up decorations haloween balloons, witches and ghosts on the door. So when kids turn up I can offer them a bowl of treats and enjoy seeing them having fun.

I really loved the family thing at Christmas. My W home and the kids. It might feel lonely but plan your Christmas. Your H will miss his normal Christmas in some way too I am sure. Also, things like this always feel like they 'will be sad' but even if they are, things are rarely as bad as you think and with some positivity you can make a great time of it. Positive thoughts coming your way my dear!!!

Surfer.