Vinny76 - Yes it does seem confusing and contradictory. I will admit that I've not read back closely into your situation so my advice may be off but I have noticed your posts and followed along a bit.
First - being the best version of "you" is first and foremost for you and not for your W. It isn't something you flash around or brag about, it's something that you do as you become the best man you can be. Even though I'm not a particular fan, I will often listen to Michael Jackson's "Man in the Mirror" when I'm struggling. Be the man in the mirror you can admire.
Secondly - Your W will notice the changes but if she thinks the changes are being done to lure her back she'll dismiss it as "too little too late" or even worse "pathetic". Again, any changes you make are for you.
With detachment it doesn't mean ignoring her or being rude. It means living your life as best as you can on your own without being dependant on her for you approval. If she engages you, be kind and considerate but keep a boundary between you. Remember, she's fired you as a H and she doesn't "deserve" to be treated as a W. She has to earn that back again. Until then, be the best you can be and show her the strong, confident Vinny76 that you will become.
On BD H52, W50 T27, M26 S21, D23 BD-9-Mar-16 D-15-Jan-18 Final-19-Apr-18 I am a storyteller. The story may do you no good. But a story is never for the listener. It is always for the one who tells
