WS text me and ask me if I was going on a date tonight. WTH? How do I respond to that?
I do have big plans tonight. Hope you have a good night too!
34, xw33 M-10, T-18 2D (8 and 5) Ilybinilwy-1/16 EA/PA- 7/15-present (with my former best friend) Trial apartment-2/16 (also when she considers us separated) W moved out-8/16 W Filed 11/21/16 D final 1/30/17
The beauty in that response is the vagueness. Your big plans could be Netflix alone. A hot bath. Or even going to bed early. He doesn't get to know that nor does he have a right to ask.
34, xw33 M-10, T-18 2D (8 and 5) Ilybinilwy-1/16 EA/PA- 7/15-present (with my former best friend) Trial apartment-2/16 (also when she considers us separated) W moved out-8/16 W Filed 11/21/16 D final 1/30/17
How did you know exactly what my Saturday night plans are?
That's a great answer. I'll use that. My initial thought was that if he is worried I am doing something, he will use that to justify crappy behaviour on his end but you know what? I can't control what he does or doesn't do.
And yea, besides the early bedtime, that's been my Saturday night.
34, xw33 M-10, T-18 2D (8 and 5) Ilybinilwy-1/16 EA/PA- 7/15-present (with my former best friend) Trial apartment-2/16 (also when she considers us separated) W moved out-8/16 W Filed 11/21/16 D final 1/30/17
So I just got a text from him that says,"Did you do good things? Did you have fun at the bar?"
How do I respond to that? After Dday 1, when I believed we were in reconciling, I used to tell him every morning "Do good Things" and he would say, "always". That was a big fat lie.
Molly22 - Do you actually "need" to respond? Is it really any of his business? Other than him monitoring your movements and wanting you to check in with him each time you turn (one way of looking at it) is there any benefit for "you" with this exchange?
Option 1 - Ignore it permanently Option 2 - Respond a bit later with something generic / bland Option 3 - Provide a minute by minute detailed explanation of each of your movements and maybe his eyes will glaze over like someone reading my 5000 word posts here do
For you though - today - Do good Things - for you.
On BD H52, W50 T27, M26 S21, D23 BD-9-Mar-16 D-15-Jan-18 Final-19-Apr-18 I am a storyteller. The story may do you no good. But a story is never for the listener. It is always for the one who tells
I like option 1 here..... this doesn't warrant a response.
34, xw33 M-10, T-18 2D (8 and 5) Ilybinilwy-1/16 EA/PA- 7/15-present (with my former best friend) Trial apartment-2/16 (also when she considers us separated) W moved out-8/16 W Filed 11/21/16 D final 1/30/17
Thanks guys. I'm going with no response for now. I want to respond because I hope it's bothering him but that's the codependent me and I don't want to be her anymore. Fake it until you make it, right?
I always struggled to not respond at all....never really got there and part of me always thinks....isn't that rude??! I guess I'm too much of a good girl.
However, I did get the hang of brief, pleasant, delayed responses.
Great, thanks Yes - enjoyed it, thanks for asking Had a lovely time :-) Brilliant, thank you!
And so on....It's a good idea to leave non-essential stuff at least a little while...couple of hours? And then a 3 or 4 wonder is perfect I think...
Xx
T 13 M 7 Me 48 H 46 SS 15 BD 7.14 PA D final 5.16 (H filed)
We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
