Working on them but Some if the boundaries are tough.
She does things that are hard to create boundries around. Example: we both have high paying jobs. She makes more money than I do, but we are both accomplished. She refuses to engage in meaningful conversation with me around my job. And when around our mutual friends she'll talk about careers jobs etc with my guy friends. The second I engage in the conversation she turns off and walks away or disengages with the convo. It's super disrespectful but not sure how to create boundaries with something like that without whining That I demand respect. Just 1 example but most of the issues I have are more from a dismissive perspective than with confrontations.
My other issue is around our family. Just today we went out shopping with the 4 of us and literally the second my son or daughter do anything beyond being perfect (their kids for gods sake), she starts hemming and hawing about how much of a disaster being all together is. What MOTHER says that!!! It fires me Up every time, usually with me attacking back. Today I calmly tried to address it by saying although my son was acting up a bit, it wasn't bad and she shouldn't suggest not being together as a family. She snapped back with how "strange" I am and for me to" get real" that no one is happy when we're all together and for us to divide and conquer with the kids (I always end up with my son who is way more challenging.) I struggle here because it's always in front of the kids and although I don't want to engage in a fight but sometimes I do. I know I shouldn't. Would an appropriate boundary be to tell her I won't tolerate and take The kids away from where she is?
