Ultimately it is your choice to go dim or dark or something in between. It depends on how long you want to ride the emotional rollercoaster.
(((Cherry)))
H-46 XW-38 T-7 M-6 S-9,8,8,6,4 S 11/30/15, I filed 12/8/15 EA 2/1/16 D dismissed 3/24/16 PA 3/18/16 confirmed 4/22/16 XW files for D 4/1/16 - D final 11/17/16 Finally moving forward...
Okay, we will say dim then. I obviously need to respond to messages about S, and if I see him, I will be polite. But to be honest, he rarely texts to see how's is, so messages are fa and far between, and I don't initiate any.
The silence from him and lack of seeing him does help me, I fear if I was to see him regularly I would still have have all those loving feeling and torments, whereas in the peace, I can collect myself and concentrate on me and the kids.
Today, I'm having a well deserved girls day. My parents are babysitting for me, so I don't need to worry about S and have a little me time.
Me 26 H 25 M 4 T 5 Baby born 4/14 BD: 1/15 EA: 2/15 PA: 4/15 reconciling: 4/15 ILYBINILWY- 11/15 ILY-1/16 ILYBNILWY 4/16 ILY 6/16 ILYBINILWY 6/16 Baby due 3/17 BD 8/16
Surfer, I definitely feel like if anything, my not contacting him is a 180. Only me not contacting him equals zero contact at all. I did think that he would contact me or mil just to see how S is, but he doesn't. Nor does he even see him much, that does leave me sad.
Rouky, thank you for that. Sometimes you need a little encouragement and that's what you gave me, thank you.
Coly, I'm not too bad. I've had a pretty busy few days, had a good day with my gf yesterday. Was nice to see her, as I know I can be completely honest about thinks with her,,and she doesn't man bash, or tell me to get over him. She understands me and admires my fight for my m; but most importantly, she knows how to lift my spirits and has me laughing and smiling. Today I've kind of felt the effects of these busy few days, and I'm feeling a tad run down. This evening, I've felt that odd twinge of sadness and kind of missing wh. I'm not at that crying stage, but just a little sad. And I feel sad when S asks me where he is, and I realise he misses his dad too, and there's nothing really I can do about that aside from shower him with love myself.
Me 26 H 25 M 4 T 5 Baby born 4/14 BD: 1/15 EA: 2/15 PA: 4/15 reconciling: 4/15 ILYBINILWY- 11/15 ILY-1/16 ILYBNILWY 4/16 ILY 6/16 ILYBINILWY 6/16 Baby due 3/17 BD 8/16
Thanks guys, there isn't really much to watch or monitor right now. Haven't seen or heard from him since last week. He briefly came over at the weekend to see a while I was out. He didn't really spend much time with him according to MIL. He was busy doing some work on our computer. He doesn't text or contact about S, and as part of my 180- I don't contact him neither. Am I doing the right thing? I feel like it helps me a bit more to detach from him. There has been the odd occasion I've thought of messaging him, but I have resisted.
Meanwhile, in my life, I've been pretty busy with work and social arrangements. My diary is pretty much jam packed. I do feel pretty detached from him, apart from the odd sadness, im pretty much getting on with my life and focussing on me and the babies. I do feel like there is no hope for reconciliation, especially given that I never hear from him and he doesn't really see any of us
Me 26 H 25 M 4 T 5 Baby born 4/14 BD: 1/15 EA: 2/15 PA: 4/15 reconciling: 4/15 ILYBINILWY- 11/15 ILY-1/16 ILYBNILWY 4/16 ILY 6/16 ILYBINILWY 6/16 Baby due 3/17 BD 8/16
