Why do I still post DDJ, because I still learn from this site and while many situations are similar yet unique, I learn from other posters and hopefully I can help others with my own experiences.
For me, it's not about nullifing my emotions to not feel anything, it's about learning how to control them in positive ways so that I can build an exciting, wonderful relationship in the future. This may, and at this point, probably won't be with my W. Being here, learning from so many resources and reflecting over the years, I have come to understand my W in ways I don't think she has to this day. She is someone that needs constant external validation but while I can understand it, it is not something I can help her with.
Does this mean I stop caring about the mother of my children, no. I can show compassion but I have also come to terms that it is unlikely she will find this understanding without the desire to do so. I see on a weekly basis her searching for the next buzz, the next boost of energy that she gets from that validation. However, I have also understood that a relationship in this fashion is unhealthy as it is extremely exhausting for the other person. This has also helped me understand how I always had the feeling that nothing was ever enough, she always wanted more, needed more and I got to the point where I had nothing left to give.
I have my faults and I learn from those also, I clean up my part of the street as we recommend to many posters.
I am not going to wait around for something that may not happen, I'm not looking to be friends with my W (like I'm sure she would like to be). I live my life how I want to, I'm enjoying my life, I have learnt to understand people in a much different way but the most important thing is learning about myself.
I am now at the point where I am thankful this happened, that I needed this because if it had of have carried on like it was, it may have destroyed me in ways I may not have recovered from.
