Well we've been together for 3 years now. When we first got together, I knew that he was exposed to porn when he was 7 years old. He said he found a playboy magazine in a dumpster. I knew he had a history with porn, but I didn't think it was this bad. Before I didn't think he would use porn when he had me here. He told me he loved me and wanted to be with me. I loved him and wanted to be with him too. I was happy. Then last year was when I found out how much porn was a part of his life. I would find porn on the computer almost every other day. I got upset. I started feeling really insecure, inadequate, unwanted, and unloved. He used porn while I was sleeping or when I wasn't home. One night I woke up while he was in the middle of using porn to masturbate to. At first I was shocked, but then I was happy becuz he had orgasmed. Then I thought about it and realized it was becuz I saw him and finally didn't feel threatened...I spoke up after he was done. When he saw that I was awake and he was pissed. Really pissed. He said I was spying on him. He made me feel really bad. He said porn and masturbating was a "private" thing. We were in the same room. The computer was in our bedroom. After that he starting getting more porn. He had burned some onto CDs. One time there was about 40 CDs full of porn that he had gotten off the internet. I was so upset. I told him I wanted to throw those CDs out. Finally he agreed. But the porn kept on coming. It was really driving me downhill to depression, insecurity, sometimes I even think insanity. It was and is still bad for me. He doesn't think he's addicted to porn. He thinks he's fine and that porn is good. He says I should just "get over it". We rarely have sex now. He says we don't have sex becuz of me. That I'm the one that doesn't want sex. He says I don't want sex becuz I get mad about his porn and start talking about it. He says when I do that he gets pissed and doesn't want to have sex with me. Sometimes he locks himself up in the computer room (we live in a different place now), and uses porn while I'm in the bedroom crying or sleeping. I tell him that if he didn't get porn and I didn't see it all the time on the computer he wouldn't have to worry about me talking about porn. He doesn't do it though. I think he doesn't do it so I can get upset and it gives him an excuse to use the porn. He told me before that guys use porn for "variety". Then he tells me that he uses porn for the act of sex and not the people having sex. Now he tells me that he looks at the porn so he can imagine himself having sex with the women. No matter what none of the reasons he has to jusitify his porn use is going to make me happy that he uses porn when he has me. \ He trys to give me a guilt trip. He tells me that I don't love him becuz I want him to change from using porn to not using porn. He says I should accept him for who he is, and that porn will always be in his life. I don't know what to do. I really love him and we have a baby together. I can't get over his porn use. I don't think it's right. Especially if he wants to do it by himself in private.
