Think back to when you two met...how did you interact w/one another? How would you act around a distant friend? Don't talk too much, laugh when necessary and just have some small talk about what the children are doing. I would attempt to keep my focus on the children as much as possible as they are a very safe topic of discussion. For example, if your child is doing something fun say "Look at son over there. He's swinging really high on the swings." That leaves the door open if your h wants to say something.
If you haven't checked out HaWho's threads, you might want to do so. Her h was, and I should say, is still doing some of this "torturing" stuff. She's mastered the art of detachment and keeps on down the road.
It's like this, either your H enjoys spending time w/you and the kids or he doesn't. You can't make him enjoy that time. That's why it's important to keep the focus on you and your children. If he sees that everyone is having a good time, he may eventually chime in and want to participate in the activities as well. Keep the expectations at zero!
