Question: Sandi you talk a lot about boundaries and holding firm on consequences. But you also admit you cannot punish them like one of your kids.
Whatever you decide will be a boundary to protect you physically, emotionally or mentally, is not effective without a resulting consequence for the one who may dishonor or ignore the boundary. What happens in the boys locker room when a guy won't stand up for himself? What happens when you tolerate a bully?
Remember, the purpose is not to control the other person's life....it is about protecting yourself.
Quote:
Struggling with a tangible consequence other than kicking her out or Leaving. Don't think I can do that every time we have an encounter.
Let's say the WW phones you and begins to curse at you and calling you every vile name in the book. Can you think of a boundary? How about stating something like......."I will not listen while being disrespected over the phone". Then, if she says anything offensive toward you or starts yelling, etc.......what could you do as an effective consequence for her calling you on the phone and being disrespectful? You simply hang up the phone. No goodbyes, no discussions about it, no negotiations, no warnings, no pleading, and no apology.
Please read the link Cadet provided on boundaries. It should help you.
I will add this, that an ineffective boundary is no boundary at all.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
