I am so sorry he's like that. Has he always been like that even before the A?

I hate to admit this on the Internet but I was like your H. I guess I can still be like that. Overly anal retentive at times. Especially when I am stressed or tired. The funny thing is I only show this side to my family. It's like I use up my quota of tolerance with other people and then I blow up at my family because I assume that they should know the way I do things.

Oops. I somehow need more control in my personal life than in my professional life.

Do you think that this aspect of your H contributed to or exacerbated his waywardness? How so?

If it doesn't, then this is just one of those irritating quirks of marriage and your H that both of you can learn to manage.

As much as an idiot that your H was, he did ask how his behaviour affected you. So he has self-awareness. Did he apologise for his behaviour?

Both of you haven't been living together for long so it takes some getting used to, having him with you 24/7. This is just like the phase of getting used to each other just after the honeymoon glow has worn off.

Now, the other thing that worries me more is the blame shifting. What usually triggers it? Because I remember that there were times that he felt sorry for what he had put you through.

I feel that you should see an IC and both of you should have MC to work through the A.

This is going to be tough because on one hand, you have to get used to living together again. On the other hand, you still have to work through the scars of the A.

You can call me Dory/ Grl.

As a wise fish once sang,"Just keep swimming!"

It's no use to go back to yesterday because I was a different person then.