they say do not rust anything she says for a reason. The crazy spouse will rewrite history, will lie, will cheat and will steal. Thinking they will not is a big mistake.
They might show signs of remorse, but it is FAKE, they are putting on a show for general public, inside they are dancing and celebrating and frolicking in their newfound freedom. Any signs of doubt you might be seeing you might mistake for clarity or fog lifting. Another BIG mistake.
Let's get one thing PERFECTLY clear and I am going to be blount about it. Your marriage is OVER, GONE, BURIED! It died at BD. There is no question about it, and the sooner you come to terms with it, the better it will be for you. Now this does not mean that there will not be a new relationship with your W, but the old one is KAPUTT.
That being said, as far as your W is concerned, there really is nothing you can do to turn the situation overnight. The best (and only) thing you can do is to let her go, take your nuts out of her purse and start living a life. She has to come to the realization what she wants, and one thing is for certain, one thing she definitely does not want is you (at the moment). Even though you might have loads of good points to be made and even though you probably see things much more clearly, she WILL NOT believe a single thing you say. At best she will politely nod and think the contrary and at worst she will spew. O god how they spew. In her mind it is all your fault and in her mind she had to put up with you for ages and in her mind THE TIME FOR HER HAPPINESS HAS FINALLY COME.
So the only thing you can do is to let her come to the truth herself. Forget MC, forget Retrouvaille, you are years from that. The thing you can do for yourself is not allow her to play you for a patsy.
You have been given the gift of time, make a better person out of yourself, grow, become a better dad, a better neighbor, an all together better person. To not fool yourself that this will blow over any time soon, it will not, your life has just been shaken to the core and I will let you in on a little secret, this could turn out to be one of the best things that has ever happened to you. I know you do not believe me right now, but I am right.
