MLC & Alcoholic

[Rose888]

Rose (and all) As for the sex thing, for him this is an issue, but he has said even more of an issue is that fact that I NEVER tried to be sexy or seduce him. I am a mom of 4 kids ages 9 and under. When I had my twins I had 4 kids aged 3 and under. He cited I never wore sexy night clothes, etc. I actually think I had done this years ago. . . and he made fun of me. Now I just wear sweats. To be perfectly honest, before this BD, I dreaded sex. I not only didn't want to have sex, I didn't even want to want to have sex. I remember watching Oprah and her saying how important it is, and I couldn't understand it. I guess I see it now. Anyway, my point in all this - is that I have tried to offer sex over the past few weeks AND he has denied it twice. So when is the right time and place for that. How can I make myself sexy and desired by him again?

Oh, I so relate to this.

We've talked about how his earlier reactions to my very few attempts made me feel embarrassed. He didn't mean to come across as making fun of me. He was just nervous and embarrassed, even though he liked it.

There are some downsides to neither partner having had any other sexual experience outside the marriage.

I recommend reading some books specifically on this issue. MWD has one, but I would read more than one. You need to really get his perspective.How did you feel when he rejected your offer of sex? Can you use those experiences to feel more empathy for him?

Do you feel sexy? If not, I'd start there. Do you need new clothes, a haircut, etc?

I joined a short burlesque dance class. Not that I have any intention of dancing burlesque, but I wanted to feel more confident and sexy in my own body. H was intrigued.

GAL also makes you seem sexier, because you'll be more alive.

I get the feeling that you want to see change right away. These things take time. You can't expect him to desire you just because you now say you understand. It's going to take time for him to trust you.