Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
job - Thanks. I've been needing to read something like this.
I'm still struggling to keep standing, to keep hoping but these are very true words. I am sure of that even if I am so unsure of everything else.
On BD H52, W50 T27, M26 S21, D23 BD-9-Mar-16 D-15-Jan-18 Final-19-Apr-18 I am a storyteller. The story may do you no good. But a story is never for the listener. It is always for the one who tells
I just got back an hour ago from signing my D papers at the courthouse (for convenience, since my L was already there...H had already signed a week before). They were to going to go directly to the judge, so its pretty much a done deal. I have given H (now XH) what he asked for, even though he insisted it was not what he wanted; insisted that it was what was our best bet at finding happiness. Who knows; maybe it is. Maybe not in a way either of us can even imagine at this time.
I plan on trying to follow the advice given. I'm letting it all go, knowing that some times are going to be awfully hard. But I believe this post as well as the ideas behind DBing are the best way to find a way beyond this crazy situation. Thanks again, Job, for another timely "bump" for the "newbies".
M-51 H-54 2D-27 and 25 M-26 yrs Bombshell and IHS 7-29-15 He moved out 10-3-15 D filed 1-27-16 D final 10-27-16
Yes, that is a useful post - and a new one to me. Thanks for bumping it up Job.
Cil, I'm sorry to read that news and send my hugs to you. For me, being D'd has changed things and given me some more release. I know it's different for everyone, but I hope you also find that to an extent.
Do take care and my best wishes to you xx
T 13 M 7 Me 48 H 46 SS 15 BD 7.14 PA D final 5.16 (H filed)
We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
Playing Devil's Advocate here, but I misaligned the calendar for this weekend, thinking it was my W's. I was just coming out of the gym when she called and then delivered a tirade at me. I hung up, as I don't need that, but I did send a text saying I'd be home in 20 minutes.
So far, so what, but it's what she said to my (6 year old) D that intrigues me. She said 'Daddy doesn't care about us anymore. He just does what he wants'. So, OK, guilt trip or really what she thinks? Anybody any experience of that one?
M 45 W 52 SD22 S9 D8 BD 6 April 2015 Not living together 4 Dec 2015
Huddy, I think it's inappropriate for her to say that to your child. Yes, you have marital issues, but those are not about your kids.
So, maybe apologise for the mistake, but you may also want to let her know that you don't think it's okay for her to say stuff like that to your kids. By all means, highlight the anomaly, but don't make that about your R with your children. That's not okay IMHO.
I don't know what it means Huddy, but TBH if she was feeling unloved and wanted back in, she'd need to develop a little more emotional maturity, put on her big girl panties and tell you she made a mistake....JMHO of course
T 13 M 7 Me 48 H 46 SS 15 BD 7.14 PA D final 5.16 (H filed)
We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
I totally agree w/Sotto's posting. You need to call her on statements to your child. That's enough to send the child into an anxiety spell.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
