Still hanging on ... just

[Oluwa]

Hi so not much contact again today as both at work. A few texts from her on kids stuff and emails. Nothing special, but I did not initiate contact and took my time with replies.

Got home after taking S12 to Soccer training. She came out to give us food and she made her own food at same time. So the 3 of us sat and ate together. I told her about a few things that happened today at work and also asked her about her Uni meeting last night. She talked about that quite a bit on the dinner table. I know I am meant to be detaching, is this the wrong thing to do to chat with her ?

After a while she went into the MBR to watch TV as is her routine. A little later I got an email from the soccer team to tell us that S12 has made it to the U14 Squad for next season, and he doesn't even have to trial. This is a big thing, as the team is the top your team in the state and this is his 3rd year now. This is first year he has got automatic entry.

I went to tell S, knowing that she would be over the moon, because she lives for S12 soccer and dreams of him having a career in it.
She went into Home Theatre and hugged him loads and said well done I am so happy you made the team. She went and got lots of chocolate and gave it to him. A total 180 from yesterday, where there was no hope for him. It is good news though and he has worked hard for it.

Once everything calms down she goes back to MBR, I talk a little bit with her about the news and then decide to leave as has been my plan each night this week. She doesn't say anything about me leaving.

I have to go back in to get some pain killers, which I have been taking intermittedly with shoulder and back pain. As I get them she says what is that, I say just the pain killers, she says that's what old people do, take pills for everything. This, I guess, should be seen as a joke, but she has mentioned my age before in R talks, so she knows I am sensitive as she has implied its one of the reasons she is no longer attracted to me, because I look older. She is 41, but probably looks 30 (not kidding). I just said, nah I only take them once in a while and my shoulder is hurting. So I didn't react/bite or get sensitive, just left the room. Was very pleased that I did that.

A bit later she called me to come to the MBR. I went in and she said, can you look in my ear with the torchlight, its always itchy and I am wondering if something is wrong. So I do that and say I can't see anything your fine. I leave the room and get on with plans for the halloween party.

So, not good for detachment again. But what is this calling me to check stuff etc, with the way I start to think after reading so many forums, is this a) A simple request to help her, b) a manipulation to test if I am still going to engage whenever she asks me, is she testing the temperature, c) So minor an incident I should just get over myself and not over analyse it!