Still hanging on ... just

[Oluwa]

Oluwa - Wow - your experience seems very similar to my own. It's kind of cathartic to read your entries.
Your issues/struggles with detachment and what exactly that looks like when still living with a chaotic spouse seem to parallel my own. I am hoping the book and the coaching help resolve the situation.

Hi TiredTN. Thanks for your comments. I dead read through your thread and there are alot of similarities as you say. I am new to the proper concept of fully detaching, and finding it hard, as I can't get it into my head that not interacting with my S, will improve the situation.

I have been out of the MBR for the whole week, and not trying to watch TV with her which is my normal pattern. So she will have noticed I am not hanging on to see if she will talk or move over to me. I realise that this pursuit is counter productive, but not fully ready to detach fully. I too am awaiting the DR book and will hope to get a better understanding then. I guess its not that I don't understand, its more that I still fear pushing the R over the edge to Separation. This is of course one of the reasons we are stuck in limbo!