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[Rose888]

I think MWD's advice on goals is written for situations where partners at setting goals together. It's useful for helping break down big goals into smaller, less daunting ones to keep you from throwing up your hands in despair.

However.

It's easy to get confused when you are setting goals in a situation where your spouse isn't interested in working with you.

You need to set goals that you can accomplish on your own, without your wife.

So, none of the examples you listed at goals. They are dreams.

A good R goal might be, "If my wife shares how she is feeling, I will validate and not argue or make it about me. If I feel myself wanting to argue or beg, I will cheerfully say I have to go and end the conversation."

See how that is all about you? Something you can do regardless of what she does?