Was you H the type to create a fight pre mLC or is this new behavior
If it new, it may be the crises..A lot of Mlcers will to prove us wrong or start a fight so they can justify a reason for leaving
Either way- you did great by not reacting and making light of it
About being a friend..This may be new behavior for you
I think Its about listening/validating our MLC being supportive without overdoing
supporting them when asked and detaching without judgement the rest of the time
Not asking for anything from them,,but giving when Its appropriate Thanking them for the little things they may do-
This probably confuses them -but we are being a friend to our spouse who is in a mental breakdown of sorts(MLC) This creates peace in the R b/c they can pursue their replay behaviors with no interference from us. the truth is we can't stop it, so we are allowing and standing beside them it b/c we love them MY DB coach told me a while back to try a behavior and if it brings them closer continue it--If it pushes them away try another behavior Our goal is to save the M..but whatever the outcome we learn from our choices and I can honestly say I have no regrets--I did everything I could have at that time to be there and help our M and may XH Then I let go..The results are Gods
married 14 years H 42 bomb 2/07 IDLYA D final 3 /09 M ow D ow
