I'm glad you are going to sit down and have an open and honest discussion to her about this stuff. I do understand this could get tricky with her being your exW's friend. But you can't keep it under wraps for ever, so having a plan is a good idea.
As far as your D thinking she is "weird", well, that's not a good reason. You think she is great and it's ok if your ten daughter thinks she is weird. It would be hurtful to me if I was in a relationship with someone and they hid it because their kid thought I was "weird"
I just think the longer you hide it/deceive others, the bigger the fall it would be. I hope you two come up with a good plan on your wants, needs, and how to tell others about the relationship if you chose to continue.
