It really sounds like you are looking for excuses to seek your personal happiness rather then fulfill your vows and committment to your wife and children. I really believe that your marriage can be saved, but your mindset has to be changed.
Marriage should not be disposable, although it has become so because many of us feel entitled. Many of us do not want to do the work.
You have so much resentment, but your marriage did not get like this just because of your wifes behavior.
