Wow, I only quickly skimmed through this...but you sound so much like a walkaway spouse. Your posts are filled with negative comments and resentment torwards your wife. You come across just as negative as you describe her.
I am sure my husband was similar. I am sure he focused on all of my negative traits in order to justify ending a marriage that he committed to through better or for worse and brought children into. I feel that my husband even subconsiously pushed buttons, disengaged, and withdrew...which only fired up my negativity. He was waiting for me to mess up to justify leaving.
I am not saying that you have done this, but are you at all disengaging or stonewalling? Many men do. Does she really know and understand your concerns about the marriage? Does she realize you are half way out the door? I suspect she is unhappy with you as well and unskilled at communucating. And it just becomes a vicious cycle of umet needs and frusturation.
I hope that your research and being on the forums is not simply a way to tell yourself "i tried everything" when really you are one foot out the door and just looking for excuses.
So let me ask you, what are some postive traits that your wife has? Is she loyal? What are some of the negative things she would say about you? What are some of the positive things she would say about you?
I really think you need to move forward with the idea that the possibility of divorce is out of the equation. She has not cheated on you. You and your family are not in danger. You just need highly skilled help.
