Well, darn it all, my quick-fix suggestion didn't work this time. Now you've ruined my life.
Detachment is like a rainbow, it seems like you can never get to the end. Or something like that. That was supposed to be a quotable metaphor, but you messed me up - again. You're so mean!
I don't know how to detach. I was a in a really good situation for detachment. My xW was (is) meaner than h3ll, so it made it easy to detach. If she had been nice, it would've been a lot harder to detach.
Seriously, for me, I didn't focus on detachment, I just did stuff that made me happy and everything else took care of itself. Am I detached? I guess I am, but it wasn't something that I actively tried to do.
That's probably no more help than my "see a doctor" suggestion, but it bumps you back up to the top of the list.
